All
stories don’t make interesting tales. Memories can be beautiful and heighten your
sense of existence; in my case, they have been the saviours. Memories Imagination,
dreams and hallucination do help me become happy.
He
phoned me at noon. I was not surprised but feel wired. The call was different
for reason. I just wanted to hear if everything was all right. Are you busy
doing work? He questioned as usual.
Speechless,
no word left. Don’t even I can think a single word to speak. Everything might be very obvious and simple but
it is not for me.
Why do
this to only me? Why so cruel? Why does it happen? Do I not deserve? I have
never asked for anything more than... Am I the only one who doesn’t really
enough for it?
I don’t
know exactly what is running through your mind. Like a changing weather.
Sometimes like a shining sun but just without its rays, leaving cloudy darkness all
around but without rain, silence fall as autumn but not with its colors and sometime freezing with black hole of cold but without snow's sparkle. I
have lots of questions to ask. Why this? Why that? I know I will end up with no
answer.
Why
can’t I accept the fact that happened me? Why does it hurt me more than
anything else? Even though I was known to this
truth,
With
this monologue, tears rolled gradually from my eyes all the way, finally landed
into the pillow where they dissolved. There
is no charm in my behavior. I speak nothing but my mind and heart speaks more.
There is no doubt I will be never ever back. But, this the things that I
known for, but never wanted to transpire. Does it all hurt and does everyone have
to go through the same situation as me? Why does it seem I have to suffer more?
I am still troubled about whether such depths of trouble are felt by all. In searching of out loud for coming out of this truth. He really knows well and he too suffering from this, It isn’t necessary to tell him the truth of my feelings,but I want to roar about it. The battle is between mine heart and already known
truth to him.
He is
and Indian and I am Nepali girl. When we met for together we well known for
this truth. His family wanted to him marry but with another girl. I am totally
sick inside. My emotions are killing so hardly. Everything was running
backward. My steps to him turn back. The met turn back. "I endure losing it all—time, energy, hope, a bond —and most predominantly him." He was trying to fix
it all. But its automatically turning back.
Why was
it so difficult? Why was it so difficult to let go? Why was it so hard to look
in the eyes and say it was okay? My mind is continuously repeating this should
be different, could be different.
The
main problem is that I can’t. This truth engraved in mind and dreams. It’s not
leaving; he is not leaving me easily, we bot not leaving both easy_not at all. He was following me everywhere, the truth
between following me and haunts me in dreams, in my mind, in my sense.
I remain, holding back arduous remembrances of us both. I tried every possible way to pull
me from the pensive, but nothing works_ nothing works.
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